“Being able to console a devastated family is a special gift” — Terry's Story

Offering Healing Spaces for Family Survivors of Homicide

My great-grandson, Brett, was born on Friday, October 13th, 2017. I remember thinking at the time “I hope it’s not going to be bad luck.” I rushed to the hospital as soon as I heard that his mother was in labour. I have always had a special bond with Brett’s father, my grandson, so when he came out to tell me that Brett was born, I wrapped my arms around him while he shook and sobbed with joy.

Photos of Brett, provided by great-grandmother Terry Kent.

I first laid eyes on Brett when he was two hours old, lying on his mother’s chest in the delivery room. I held him in my arms not long after, just as I had with my children and grandchildren. As I was holding him, my daughter came and asked for her turn. My granddaughter came up behind me and said, “Give Brett to her - it’s her turn to be a grandma.” She was right - it was time to step back and adjust to my new role as a great-grandma. As I left the hospital, it was snowing.

On March 24th, 2020, I received a call saying that Brett had been hurt while at home with his stepmother. When I arrived at his house, there was a fire truck, police cars, supervisors’ vehicles, and an ambulance. Emergency responders were everywhere. I knew right then this was not just an ordinary accident.

Due to COVID 19, a state of emergency was declared by the provincial government around that time, and hospitals had just gone into lockdown. In all the confusion about the new COVID rules being in place at the hospital, I managed to get in with Brett’s stepmother and my daughter. We were there during the evening and through the night. So many doctors, nurses, police officers, and detectives were there. Each one asked the same questions over and over again. Everything was surreal.

When the next nurse on duty arrived the next morning, we were made to leave - only Brett’s parents with one support person each could be there. I knew that day, March 25th, was the last time my daughter and I would see Brett alive. No one else in the family had a chance to say goodbye.

Brett passed away on March 26th from a catastrophic brain injury. It was snowing when he died, just as it had been the day he was born. Our whole family was shattered, and while I was grieving too, I had to take on my husband’s, my daughter’s, and my grandson’s grief as I held my family together.

Brett’s stepmother was arrested on April 3rd, 2020. She confessed during her police interrogation, and in January 2024 a preliminary hearing was held to see if her confession was admissible in a trial. As a potential witness, I was not allowed inside the courtroom and so I was prepared to sit on a bench in the hallway. It was then I came to know of Candace House. 

A group of nail polishes and supplied donated by Terry

A photo of a framed poem gifted from Terry, "My Right to Mourn" by John F. Connor

A person creating a diamond art painting, gifted by Terry

Gifts from Terry for other Candace House families — nail polish,

“My Right To Mourn” by John F. Connor, and diamond art

For a week, I stayed at Candace House while a staff member went to court, providing support for Brett’s family, answering their questions, and taking notes. I had other staff with me to pass the time but more importantly to answer my endless questions. They have an amazing knowledge about the justice system. Prior to court, coffee and pastries were served and lunch was provided, which gave us a chance to get some answers. After court, we came back to Candace House again to debrief.

Three weeks later, we were back at court - the judge had ruled her confession was not admissible and therefore not being allowed as evidence in a trial. Candace House again was there to answer questions and console us.

The Crown attorney requested a meeting with our family to be held at Candace House on March 25th, 2024 - the fourth anniversary of the last time I saw Brett alive. My family was informed that the case would not be pursued due to a lack of other evidence. We were all devastated. The end of an arduous journey with no closure.

Being able to console a devastated family is a special gift. There is a difference between being consoled and being pitied - Candace House offered my family amazing support as they do for anyone who needs them.

I have a good friend whose family also lost a loved one to homicide. I was with her family at Candace House during their court journey. It was different watching from the other side, and it gave me a chance to stand back and support them alongside the staff during someone else’s devastation. The same support was given by the staff as they did to my family months earlier.

There is not a day of my life that I do not think of Brett. To this day I say a little prayer when I see the flashing lights and hear the sirens of an ambulance rushing to help someone.

Although this has been emotionally hard to write, it also feels good. I have realized just how important Candace House was to my family and continues to be. The need for Candace House and their services is something no one should ever experience - but we are all so grateful to have them during one of the most challenging times of our lives.

Terry Kent